The Overthinker.

It's been a while since i've blogged, but hopefully I shall be keeping up with this compared to before!

In those brief few months I was away, I learnt a lot about myself, experiencing things that life unwaveringly bombarded me with. One of the things I particularly learned was that I stress too much. Now, having a history of stress and anxiety, I already knew I did, but as to what extent I did so, I was unaware of.

I'm a thinker, I think to my heart is content, I analyse till my heart is discontent. And that's when I noticed a problem. I thought about things so much so - that I over-analysed them. My mind clouded by 'what ifs' and 'buts', poisoned by things that could go wrong: worries, anxieties, the future, the past. Sometimes it got to the point where I was going to mentally implode. I just wanted things to go right. I'd get told to 'not stress so much', yet it's not as easy as that, you really can't tell your mind to just shut up. If only there was an on and off switch.

Over thinking can be frustrating and disabling. It's like the leaky kitchen tap that incessantly drip, drip, drips and doesn't stop no matter how much you forcefully try turn it off. It's good to ponder upon certain things, but only a certain amount. While flicking through my instagram account, I came across a photo: 'People who over-think tend to create problems that weren't even there to begin with.' And that's when I paused for a moment and realised, you know what, this is true, I'm doing it all wrong.

It occurred to me that maybe I should let life take it's toll, do my best and stop thinking about these 'buts' and 'what ifs'. Because in the end, I'm making things worse for myself. There is no point worrying about what is going to happen, the future. And there is no point worrying about what has happened, the past. I need to focus on now, the present. I need to focus on now and eventually I will get my 'perfect' future. I need to focus on now.

Whenever I get overwhelmed my mum always tells me: 'Don't spoil your today or tomorrow because of yesterday.' She's right. Mums are always right.

I admit, I find it really difficult to just forget everything. But it takes time. Change takes time, but it will be worth it in the end. I've learnt patience is key.

I've promised myself to change this habit. Instead of stressing continuously, I guess we should just let whatever has to happen to happen and accept that everything that has happened, was for a reason, that too, for the best.


After all, it's kismat right?

Searching for Success!

Before we begin our never ending chase for 'success', we have to think about what it actually is. I feel that this term is applicable to everyone and anyone, yet it's meaning is different to each individual.

Personally for me, it currently means:

• Actually passing my uni exams.
• Graduating. 
• Learning how to drive. 
• Getting a well-paid, good job.

Basically different goals to achieve.

However, after much deliberation and thought (and believe me my mind does not shut up) I realised  that success really comes down to happiness.

All the things I listed above, I could hopefully achieve. But after gaining all these things, can I really label myself as 'successful'? I could graduate for example, yet maybe it was a course I was not keen on. I could learn to drive, but what would be the point if I was to never get a car? I could get the highest paying job, yet HATE what I do. Does that really make me successful? I don't think it does.

Many feel that it lies with money, the more money you have the better your life will be. That's a load of crap. Yeah money buys you things, lots of things you want and makes you happy...but only temporarily.

At the end of the day, the more we gain pleasure in what we do and the more happiness we attain, the more we begin to prosper in life - we begin to truly enjoy it and that's the key.

Now the key to achieving happiness...many of us are still trying to figure out that answer...

Shisha is Shit.

So, here I am, putting off revision in order to express my passionate opinion against the contagiously ‘cool’ new trend: shisha.

For the naïve audience, who are still unacquainted of this harmful fashion, shisha or hookah smoking is a mere stupid excuse given by the dim-witted for ‘having fun,’ but really, it is a less hazardous form of smoking a cigarette.

Now, I label the fashionistas as ‘dim-witted’ because, that’s what they are. Most smokers are foolishly unaware of the history and precarious consequences behind this obsession, whereas others are blinded by ignorance in their pursuit of a great social life, allowing them to believe that it is acceptable to be a member of this dodgy, fuming cult. 

Where did it all begin? The origins of hookah come from the North Western provinces of India nearly a millennia back. These hookahs were simple in design, made to smoke opium and hashish. The hookah made its way through the Persian Kingdom, to Pakistan, Afghanistan, Middle Asia and Arab parts of Northern Africa. It acquired ‘tombeik’ on its way through Persia. Tombeik is a dark tobacco grown in modern day Iran – mixed with hot coal, it forms the basis of shisha smoking.

The most common misconception people make is that it is not or less detrimental to the health. Now, I could drone on about how it is equivalent to smoking 300 fags, blah blah and how destructive it is, whilst addicts can argue otherwise. The bottom line is: any drug in excess quantities is a major health hazard! This contemporary means of socialisation is utterly ridiculous and I really don’t understand it at all.

I know of many teens that would never touch a cigarette, but would gladly sit in front of the telly or with a group of friends for hours on end having shisha, what is that about?! In a sense, it’s like drinking. You wouldn’t really sit and drink the whole day; it’d destroy your liver, small amounts – fine, but anything more and you’re just asking for an early death.

This increasingly prevalent growing trend has spread not just amongst teens, yet adults as well, who only seem to encourage the youngsters – if anything. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw a bunch of ten year olds with shisha pipes thinking they’re participating in something remarkable. There should be limits.

I really find the current attitude towards this craze with adolescents appalling. Showing off with photos on Facebook with shisha smoke all up in your face is not cool, it’s just a tad sad. Seriously, there are many many other ways to entertain ourselves and if this is the only thing that teenagers can think of, I would be very concerned. 

All in all, this is one fashion I certainly will not be following.

Is Love Real?

I'm sure many of us ponder over this question, is love real? What is love? Why does this emotion play such huge role in our lives? Is love attachment? Yes, it is. When we love something, or someone we're used to having it in great quantities.

Mmm... Caramel Mac

Take for example, coffee. Being an ex coffee addict myself, it was hard to fall 'out of love' with it, but I got there in the end. It was there for me every morning, to brighten my day. It was there for me in times of need, where I managed to get barely any hours of sleep, it was there to give me that great energy boost to carry out many of my tasks. It has that special coffee smell. That taste (strong and sweet - ohh yeahh!) That unique flavour, be it Nescafé Gold blend or a Starbucks Caramel Macchiatto, whenever I wanted it, it was there for me to make and enjoy. It was an addiction. I was attached to that strong overpowering odour. I was so acquired to it's taste, I wasn't willing to settle for anything else - tea was just not the same. If it was always around me, what stopped me from drinking it?



What i'm trying to get at is, that's what love is. I've come to realise that we're all in love with the idea of love itself. What we don't actually recognise is that we like the idea of having something that perks up our lives. We like smelling that same fragrance. We like having that one special flavour everyday, thus gradually beginning to develop an attachment to it: which once formed, without it, we cannot survive.

When we remove these bonds, we feel somewhat lost, our routine is broken. My cup of coffee to keep me functioning during the day isn't there anymore, how do I walk or talk? It's not there to give me energy.

What really got me thinking about this was, Orsino, a character in William Shakespeare's Twelfth Night who is a great example of this.

"If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it
That surfeiting the appetite may sicken and so die."

Orsino is madly in love with Olivia. But judging by what he says, we start to see that he love's love. He fancies it in such great capacities to fullfil his fresh appetite, so much so, that he is willing to soon be sick of it, just because he enjoys the way it feels. He likes how it completes his emptiness. Orsino believes that he holds these sentiments towards Olivia, but ironically at the end of the play he happily accepts Viola as his wife. He doesn't mind, he's been in her company before, he knows how much she desires him, so why not?

I know this seems like a duhhh we all know love-is-an-addiction moment. But it really makes me think that is love falliable and false? 


"Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares." - A bit more Shakespeare for you. 

Testing123

Just testing this to see how this thing works. Weirdly excited to start blogging. I love writing and I think too much. Way too much. So why not share my thoughts with the world?