Ever had a bad dream, or a nightmare? Where you’re
screaming, screaming so loud for help, but no one is helping you. You’re
yelling so hard, you feel your lungs exploding, your throat bursting, your
veins bulging. Your face is rouge and you’re drowning in your own tears. The
resonant thumping of your heart is all that your ears are accustomed to. You’re
aching to reveal to your family that you need help, desperately. You clamber to
the next room and begin nudging your mum to come to the rescue, but something’s
not quite right. It’s as if she can’t see you. Your dad is too engrossed in BBC
News. And your sibling, well, why bother.
No one can see or hear you. Your
silent screams are futile. Why are you even trying, they wouldn't understand anyway? That heart of yours is
echoing to escape, to break free from you, once and for all. That mind wants to
be unchained of all those thoughts and worries you constantly poisoned it with.
That’s right. You poisoned it. Force-fed it like a stubborn toddler, with
potential situations, anxieties, memories even. In the end, all it could do was
be in despair. It couldn’t even talk to the heart anymore, nope. They used to
be best friends as well. Look what you did. So cold and cruel of you. I know
you hate yourself for it. Maybe you deserve it. Couldn’t you have just left
them alone? Couldn’t you have just let it be? They would have healed sooner at
least. It’s too late now. The venom has captured your soul. It runs in your
blood and all throughout your body. Now you’re stuck in this hell of a place and no one can help you.
No
one, but yourself.
Only, you’re poisoned.
Why can’t I wake up?
'If I didn't think, I'd be much happier.' - Silvia Plath
